i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The feeling are messing with the penis
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
