Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So much rum. So many feels.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
