I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We had to coat check the pizza.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
