Im at strip club and am horny
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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