I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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