Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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