it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
