please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
