the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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