the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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