I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
