omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
