i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
