I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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