Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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