You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
