Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
