the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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