and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
