Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened