Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time

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(209): View more from California

it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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(779): View more from Illinois

Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.

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(817): View more from Texas

We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.

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(478): View more from Georgia

Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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(614): View more from Ohio

I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati

(1-614): View more from Ohio

What in the fuck are you doing with your life

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