wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
