spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
honey bunches of taint.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this