omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
