You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
