check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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