barbara walters just said penis...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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