I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
