normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just had sex on a roof
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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