wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
