Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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