There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
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Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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