when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
