I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Houston, we have a blender
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
