Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
