The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize