Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
