went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I deserve this hangover.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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