Do you still have your period?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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