I like my sex mixed with concussions.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
