think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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