So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
