I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
