just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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