the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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