This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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