YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
