That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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