If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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