Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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