no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
