Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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