This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
