That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
