Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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