why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
tell me about the fingering
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
