I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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