maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
