I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
