She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
