There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
