I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
