SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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